


Five Times Akaashi Keiji Did Not Say I Love You (And One Time Ey Did)

by atlanxic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6108691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlanxic/pseuds/atlanxic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto has the brightest smile Akaashi has ever seen, and Akaashi has a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Akaashi Keiji Did Not Say I Love You (And One Time Ey Did)

The first time is during a match. Bokuto had been sulking for the past seven points, just trailing along after the ball like a lost puppy none the less. Finally, they get a free ball, and Bokuto looks at Akaashi with a determined longing that makes eir heart flip-flop in eir chest. Ey tosses to him without thinking about it, and he slams it down as if he'd never been down. He looks at em with stars in his eyes.

"Hey hey hey!" he exclaims. "That was a great toss, Akaashi." And in that moment, a moment almost the same as so many before it, Akaashi realizes that ey is in love.

The words almost tumble out of eir mouth before ey can swallow them back, cheeks pink, and murmur a thanks instead. Bokuto looks at em in confusion, but it's time for the next serve, so he has no time to dwell on it. For that, Akaashi is glad.

\---

The second time is when ey wakes up to Bokuto's eyes staring down at em. Ey scrambles back, eyes wide, and Bokuto leans back to laugh loudly.

"Sorry!" he says, and Akaashi almost thinks he means it. "I didn't mean to startle you!"

"Why are you here?" Akaashi hisses, gathering the blankets around eir chest despite being fully clothed.

"Well you didn't show up to practice, so I was worried about you," Bokuto says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I thought I'd drop by and check on you."

"Oh," Akaashi replies, at a loss for words. Ey had been sick that day, and left school at lunch break after realizing ey was running a fever.

"Aren't you glad to see me!" Bokuto exclaims, beaming.

"I would have been more glad to get some rest," Akaashi replies dryly, but a smile teases the edges of eir lips.

"Your mom says dinner is almost ready," he says, and Akaashi is briefly mortified to think their first meeting occurred while ey wasn't there. First meeting, ey catches emself. As if Bokuto would be visiting more than this. Ey looks away.

"Let me get changed back into real clothes, if you're staying for dinner," ey says.

"I can stay?"

"You came here right after practice didn't you? You must be starving."

Bokuto opens his mouth to reply, but his stomach growls before he can say anything. Akaashi laughs quietly, and feels too warm in a way ey would swear later was just the fever.

"I guess I am," Bokuto says, laughter in his voice and in his eyes. "I'll wait outside for you then."

He steps out the door, and Akaashi takes the words blooming in eir chest and molds them into a quiet thanks instead, whispered into the now-empty room.

\---

The third time is one of Bokuto's worse downswings. He loses his groove during a practice match and never regains it, even when they win the match by a close two-point margin.

He lingers in the changeroom, after their cool down stretches, and Akaashi decides to linger with him.

"I'm pathetic, aren't I?" Bokuto says to his locker through gritted teeth.

"I don't think so," Akaashi replies, and walks over to rub his back.

"No, I am!" Bokuto says, loudly. "I'm supposed to be the ace of this team, I'm supposed to be our captain, and I'm useless!"

It hurts to hear him speak so poorly of himself. "You're not," Akaashi murmurs. "You're a lot of things, but you're not useless."

"I'm useless and I'm weak and I'm dragging the team down," he says. His voice is biting with anger, tears build at the corners of his eyes. Akaashi keeps rubbing his back. It's hard to know what to say when he gets like this.

"No one thinks that," Akaashi replies.

"I think that!" he exclaims, and looks up at em. Tears drip down his face.

"Well I think that you're very important to the team," Akaashi tells him, pulling him close until their foreheads are touching. "We're lucky to have you and we're very proud of what you can do-" and we love you, ey thinks. I love you.

But ey doesn't want to make the situation worse with a sudden confession, so ey clamps down on the words yet again.

"You mean it?" Bokuto says, looking at em.

"Of course," Akaashi replies, solemn.

"I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me." He says. Akaashi flushes. Bokuto pulls em into a tight hug. "Thanks."

\---

The forth time is under a bright night sky. They're at a summer training camp, all the way out in the country. They're headed back to the dorms after some late practice when Bokuto points at the sky.

"Look, we can see so many stars out here!" he exclaims. Akaashi looks up. He's right. It's beautiful.

"Come on, let's find somewhere to stargaze!" Bokuto says, and grabs eir hand. Ey starts, but is given no time to think about it before Bokuto is dashing away, dragging em along.

He plops them down on a hill, far enough that the voices from camp are just a distant murmur but close enough to still see the lights shining through the windows. He doesn't let go of eir hand.

His other hand starts pointing out stars, making wild guesses about which constellations they might be.

Akaashi quietly and patiently corrects him.

"You sure know a lot about stars!" Bokuto says.

"It's a bit of a hobby of mine," Akaashi replies. "Not that I get much opportunity to go star-gazing in the city."

"That's really cool!" Bokuto says, unguarded admiration on his face. "We should come out here more often."

"What, just the two of us?" Akaashi asks, very conscious of Bokuto's warm hand still wrapped around eirs.

"Why not?" Bokuto says. "It'll be fun."

"Yeah," Akaashi replies quietly, and keeps the words ey really wants to say an even quieter secret.

\---

By the fifth time, Akaashi is used to keeping those words down.

That's why, when Bokuto says them, ey doesn't know how to respond.

"I think I'm in love with you," he says. Akaashi stares at him like a deer caught in the headlights. For a brief moment ey wonders if eir secret is out, if he managed to root it out of eir brain when ey wasn't looking.

"I mean, you're always really patient with me, and you're pretty, and I get excited when we hang out," Bokuto continues, not paying any mind to Akaashi's quiet panicking.

"Y-You're always excited," ey stammers out.

"That's what you're responding to?" Bokuto laughs. "I don't need a reply right now, or ever really. I just figured you should know." He scratches the back of his head, pink staining his cheekbones. "I mean, I don't even know if you swing this way, and it's totally fine if you don't,"

Akaashi realized that he's rambling. That he's nervous. Ey swallows thickly and tries to bring up those words, the ones ey's been guarding close to eir chest for the past few months.

"Sorry," Bokuto says, and throws his backpack over his shoulder. It takes another minute before Akaashi manages to say,

"You don't have to apologize."

"Alright," Bokuto says, smiling back at em. Akaashi wishes ey could believe it was just eir imagination that his smile looked sad.

\---

Three times in the next month, Bokuto insists on walking em home, even though his house is in the opposite direction.

Every time, Akaashi wants to hold his hand. Every time, ey refrains.

Ey doesn't know what ey's afraid of. Ey's angry at eirself for making things so complicated. They're in love with each other. Bokuto loves eir. It's ok.

But every time ey tries to summon up the words, they die on eir tongue before ey can get them out.

The third time, when Bokuto turns to go to home, Akaashi grabs his sleeve. "Come inside," ey says, not making eye contact. 

Bokuto lights up. "Of course!"

Ey's not really sure what to do when they get inside, so ey puts on a nature documentary. Bokuto sits a bit too close to em on the couch, but ey doesn't mind. Ey leans on his shoulder. He ventures to hold eir hand. Ey wraps eir fingers around his tightly.

"Hey," he says, more quietly that ey thinks ey's ever heard him speak before. "Is this ok?"

"Yeah," ey replies. Ey curls up eir legs against his.

He leans back and looks at em. Ey glances away before making eye contact. He gets even closer.

"Is this ok?"

"Yeah."

His lips are chapped and warm, and surprisingly gentle. His hand tightens around eirs as they kiss. Akaashi thinks eir heart will beat out of their chest.

Ey pulls away and puts eir forehead on his chest. His heart is beating really fast, too.

" love you," ey murmurs, so quietly ey's not sure if he heard.

But a moment later, he replies. "I love you, too."


End file.
